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The scientific-publicistic articles by Svetlana Lavender

June 2006: International marriages – reality of the modern society life

I close my eyes to concentrate better and write this article.

France… Delicate chime of churches in a sonorous provincial silence of little cosy towns, located among vineyards, lavender fields, farmlands with crops, relief landscape, that one can never mix up with any other. The closer to the sea, the more its fresh breathe is felt, its unique scent, its caress.

I personally know a lot of people, who are used to be called “the salt of France” – the French, who are considered to be the keepers of the most precious: cultural heritage and national traditions of France.

The way of life of the French people is distinguished in particular by the family traditions: relationship of the spouses, attitude to parents and children.

Easily and with great warmth the images of my friends in France, their simple everyday life appear in front of me: the milkman and baker in the mornings, who, as 300 years ago, bring fresh milk and newly-baked French buns with the sunrise; large tables on the terraces, where every evening the members of the family of all generations gather together, their pets next to them (there are no derelict dogs or cats in France), sonorous laugh of children, whose addressing to the grownups will never be left without attention (there are no derelict children – orphans, if the parents alive, in France). Little French are very lively and inquisitive, they ask thousands of questions. I had never seen a grownup disregarding a child. Tenderly, patiently the adults answer their questions – for it the talk, meal is stopped for a while…

In large cities the life is more complicated – there are a lot of emigrants, tension is felt, rhythm, but it is only up to 17:00, after 17:00 the citizens fill cafes, cosy little restaurants and luxurious restaurants, theatres, parks, sports grounds.

It is well known that France is the world’s centre of gourmets – food is so much exquisite and various, that one can read menu as an exciting novel. Cook is a respected and very significant person. The popularity of the restaurant depends on his skill. His work is very well paid and it surpasses other professions in regard to the level of life.

Businessmen, bankers, farmers, doctors, teaches, employees, policemen, sportsmen… – are my friends, some of them the clients of my agency in the past, who had found wives in Barnaul owing to “Lavender”. Happy families, their happy children, born in love and those who came together with their moms from Russia. I saw once, the father and mother of Jean-Paul, standing on their knees, kissed the feet of two-years-old Ilya, when Natasha came with him, to stay forever with the man, without who she couldn’t imagine her life anymore.

At present on the TV screens there is a lot of negative information about international marriages, that sometimes criminals use the natural wish of women to love and be happy. But in what way all this has to do with an honest, professional agency? During 12 years of the work of “Lavender” hundreds of women left Russia and all of them live happily.

There is an impression, as if according to all versions of TV reporters all men abroad are dangerous. And it doesn’t matter if a woman is doomed to loneliness, deprived of the chance to become a wife, mother, to have a family home and of all dreams of every woman, but she stays in Russia. Why some politicians and reporters are irritated at Russian women’s happiness, who find it beyond Russia?!

May be, because the monthly child allowance in Russia is 800 rubles (about 25 euro), and in Europe – 800 euro, that makes up about 32000 rubles; that in Europe after the divorce a woman gets from her ex-husband monthly alimony – 800 euro till the end of her life and plus 800 euro for each child, and after the birth of the child the government gives 3000 euro?!

May be, it will be better to direct the energy, that is spent for discredit of the work of international matchmaking agencies and the very fact of international marriages of Russian woman, to improvement of Russian women’s situation in their native motherland, to make it safer and more humane?!

What would you say concerning such a story, when a married colonel in his declining years came to me and threaten with violence, because his young mistress (?!), with who he had relations for 5 years, was going to France to marry a young, healthy, wealthy single man, employee in a city administration, with the help of my agency? May be such men express negative opinions against conjugal units with the foreign gentlemen?!

In Barnaul a lot of people talk and make fairytales about my clients from the USA, Great Britain, Australia, European countries. They say, how wonderful the meetings with our townswomen were, how beautiful the foreign men behaved here – real gentlemen! How precious the presents, which they gave not only to our women, but also to their children and parents, were (precious not only in material sense, but the most important that sometimes, they were the relics, which passed from generation to generation in men’s families). And it is true and reality of the present time – international marriages became an integral part of the life of the modern society.

In Europe this fact in no surprise for anybody. The French marry the Americans, the Algerian, the Britain and so on. Nationality doesn’t mean anything – only love and wish to have a family determine everything.

Here in Siberia the majority of society thinks with the categories of the beginning, middle of the XX century: the Russians are for the Russians, and better Barnaul citizens only for Barnaul citizens. Let it be so, but taking into consideration the fact that in the Altai Territory there are much more women than men, such arithmetic doesn’t work. In such a situation a woman should have a choice: to have an opportunity to make family with a man from her region or other regions of Russia or with a man from another country. The very professional agencies such as “Lavender” create safe and comfortable space. Here we help women to overcome language barrier, misunderstanding of cultural and mental peculiarities, give consultative, juridical support, as well as visa support.

Unfortunately, recently, without gaining an understanding of the essence, everything connected with international marriages is being condemned.

It's hard to understand for my friends from France, the USA, Australia, my partners, my stuff and me, what kind of relationship all this negative information has with the life of simple, honest, hardworkers: French, American, etc, law-abiding citizens of their countries, who dream of love and happiness with women from Russia?! With those, who honestly and responsibly work to help, overcoming distances, language barrier, juridical and other complications, to find each other and make family?!

I address to close people of those women, who want and have chance to find their love and family happiness beyond the city of Barnaul!

Dear fathers, mothers, sisters, brothers, you can come together with your daughter, sister and take part and have access to all information, that is connected with the acquaintance with a resident of another country, with her trip, preparation of documents. You are only welcome! I know for sure, that our dear girls and women, who marry and go to their husbands in other countries, need your parental blessing, your support and love.

With respect,
Svetlana Lavender

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