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20, April 2017

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Our recommendations

Our Recommendations for gentlemen, who seriously wish to get acquainted with a Russian lady for love, true feelings, family life.

Since the web site is designed for ladies and gentlemen who have serious intentions to find a partner for real feelings, family life, the recommendations contribute to the solution of this goal and task.

These are my personal elaborations, as a gender psychologist, as a specialist, who deals with this question for many years, taking into account the fact that the clients of the agency, placed on the web site, – are Russian ladies, beautiful, dignified, decent, having the only goal of being here – to find a partner for family life, love.

Recommendations are constantly enlarged, due to appearing of new experience, situations in the life of the clients, that they share with me.

Recommended way of choice:

-Looking through the profiles and choosing the lady with who you want to start correspondence, please, pay your attention to the accordance of your and lady’s basic requests: social status, age, height, appearance, children.

There is a higher probability of effective acquaintance, if you keep to the position “on equal terms”, or in case you can compensate weak points of your profile by stronger ones.

For example, if you are dynamic, well educated, successful city-dweller, with active social life, of course, your offer to get acquainted can be accepted by lady who also live in a city and have similar life situation. On the other hand it is unlikely, that such ladies will respond to the offer of a nice farmer, who prefers to live in the nature, in a quiet calm atmosphere, though you can like her appearance a lot, most likely gentlemen farmer will have a refusal.

However, if a farmer will draw attention to a lady, who lives in a suburb, or her profession, or life style is monotonous, simple, requiring silence, peace and so on (such as seamstress, teacher of elementary school, shop assistant, professions, connected with soil, animals) – there is near 100%, that she will take interest in you.

So, choosing a lady by profiles, consider not only your liking of the appearance, but also the identity of your life style, life activity, circle of interests, etc.

Recommended way of correspondence:

-The basic recommendation – is to be yourself in the letters. You are looking for a lady, with who you will feel comfort, easy understanding, similar outlook on life, but this condition can be achieved only with the lady, who will love you as you are. I do not recommend to create a virtual image, even if it is positive. A person’s psychic is unable to keep “a mask” for a long time, and in a moment “the mask” will fell, both of you can be disappointed.

It is very important to have the feeling of inner comfort in correspondence. If you are distressed by something, please, share it with your lady. This openness and trust will bring your correspondence and interest to a higher level of liking.

The same recommendations are given to the ladies – clients of my agency.

The size of the letters.

-In the price list you can see exactly optimum size of the letters: not very big, not to become tired, and not very small – enough for disclosing some topic.

First letters.

-Please, draw special attention to your first letters. They should not be too frank (as you do not still know if the lady is interested in communication with you and unreasonable openness can be estimated as a not very high self-appraisal), and not very cool and reserved – nevertheless their aim is too awake lady’s interest.

Other peculiarities.

-I recommend to use in your letters such emotionally colored words as “my dear, darling, honey, tenderly hugging you, kissing you, take my hand and heart” and other, only when your correspondence reached a certain level: you had telephone conversations, video communication and your words suit your real feelings. It is connected with the fact that Russian ladies attach much importance to the words. Also in modern Russian culture of the relations between a man and a woman such expressions are rare then usual things.

That is why it will be a surprise for some ladies, some will prick their ears, some will have a feeling of mistrust. Please, understand it, that a Russian lady is apt to devote fully herself to love, with all her heart, soul and treats seriously the words.

Russia is situated at the interface of Europe and Asia, that is why Russian ladies’ blood is mixed of eastern and western, hence peculiarities in the cultural outlook, models of behavior, in the attitude to men and children appear. However, in modern Russia there is a tendency to divide feminine population in to 2 models of behavior: one of which is polygamous relations with men, sexual freedom, etc., second – traditional for Russia, patriarchal – oriented on family life, conjugality, monogamous relations. Of course, it is a reductive idea, but basically corresponding the reality. Such ladies, oriented on family life, differ by femininity, sexuality (for her only husband), and respect to gentleman, and this is in their blood, and the very ladies – comply the majority of my clients.

Please, consider these facts in your letters. Russian lady will always appreciate your decency, serious intentions to build a family, your readiness to take responsibility for family.

When you invite your lady:

-It is true that you have put much money to invite your lady to your country. You have paid for her air tickets, visa, medical insurance, for her living in Moscow during the period of waiting for a visa – it is clear. Your lady understands it very well, that without your support you cannot meet. That is why she is grateful to you and she is all in the expectation of love, happy family life.

But, please, be careful, do not make a mistake, be delicate in this question. After coming to you, it will be better for the lady to feel herself loved and wished, but not obliged to you. It is hard and painful for the ladies to listen to reproaches, that you have spent so much money on her travel. It can cause her emotional restraint.

Ways to meet your lady.

-To come to meet you, your lady has gone through a complicated stage of paper work, nervous, strained visit of the consulate to get a visa. During the period of awaiting for a visa she had to live for several days in the hotel, in Moscow. She took min 2 flights (Barnaul-Moscow Moscow-your country), that is why at her first day she can feel tired, physically and emotionally. Thus, please, be sensitive to her and give her an opportunity to have a good rest for 1-2 days: to have a good sleep, a tasty dinner, try not to appoint any important events during first 2 days, may be just a romantic dinner at home. She need some period of adaptation. For 50-70% of ladies, placed on the web site – it can be their first flight abroad and though it is a positive experience, it is a stress for her too.

- Of course, it is important to provide your lady with a separate room, bed linen, towel, and desirable a dressing gown. You have invited your lady to communicate with her personally, so that you can make sure of your wish to be together and build serious relations, family. I apologize, but I again repeat that my web site is only for serious relations, that is why it is inadmissible to offer and especially to insist on intimacy with your lady at the first day. It can cause negative reaction in any normal lady. However, there are cases, when the couple falls in love with each other at the first sight on the photo, from the first letter – then, the recommendation does not work.

From the other hand, 90% of Russian ladies will not initiate intimacy and if you feel, that your liking is mutual, then be free to take the initiative and become close, gently and delicately let her understand that you are ready for it and you expect it from your lady. I think, it is needless to say, that this evening should be special: a glass of champagne, small present (flowers, sweeties, perfume, may be something from clothes or make up, what do you want – lady is a lady).

Telephone:

It is absolutely normal and usual – that you kindly allow your lady to use your home telephone, so that she can communicate with homeland, children, parents, agency. This will help her not to feel isolated and to go through the period of adaptation quickly. For a normal lady it is very important to share her impressions, emotions with close people, who have existed in her life before you. You can discuss this question beforehand taking into account your means, that is duration and frequency of talks, but it should be not rarely then once-twice a week and not less then 15-20 minutes.

Unfortunately, Russian international telephone communication is still very expensive and the majority of Russian ladies do not have an opportunity to call Russia from their cel phones.

Food.

According to the visa invitation for a certain period of stay by you, you have full responsibility for lady’s safety and well-being. You provide her with dwelling and food. Every person has his own eating pattern, predilections – please, respect and consider these peculiarities. Some ladies got used to eat only twice a day: a light breakfast and full dinner, some – 3 times a day: a light breakfast, lunch, full dinner. The Russian pattern of eating differs a lot from European. Breakfast and lunch – the same time, but most Russians have dinner from 17:00 till 19:00 o’clock.

One more important peculiarity – is that in Russia people like and used to eat soup, cooked on broth: meat, chicken, fish, vegetable. That is why many of my clients told me that there were no soups at all and they suffered from it – had stomachaches and problems with digestive system. Please, consider it. You can have chicken, meat, vegetables in your fridge, so that your lady can cook broth herself. One of the national Russian meals is – borsch, you know it for sure. 99% of Russian ladies cook it perfectly and I think that it will be especially tasty for you to eat the borsch, cooked by your beloved lady.

Russian ladies can and love cooking, and mostly we cook from natural products. In Russia there is negative attitude to frizzed products and to fast food. Do not forget about simple vegetables, fruit, juice. All these products are included in the ration of any Russian lady, even if her salary is low, as local products are very cheap.

However, certainly invite your lady to a café – for a dessert. Our Siberian region cannot boast of great variety and quality of desserts. In Europe, the USA – it is a Klondike for sweet teeth. Several clients told me that when they saw the widows with desserts, their mouth watered, but their gentlemen never invited them there. I explained them that they should just mention that they wanted pastry. Gentlemen do not see visions and they cannot read ladies’ thoughts.

So, small cozy restaurants with national cuisine, nice cafes with national color, cafeterias – all this is not expensive, but it gives your lady a feeling of your love, care for her, warmth and comfort of being beside you.

Medical Insurance.

The lady, that is going to visit you, without fail has got medical insurance, that is valid on the territory of your country. It is for 30 000 €/$. It includes all the health cases, excluding planned stomatological service. If your lady falls ill: has high temperature, pain, bruise, and etc., she has to dial a telephone number, that is pointed in the insurance, in Moscow (the call is free, you will have to apply an account of the call, give it to the lady and in Russia she will have the money returned). The doctor will come during an hour – in the city, and during 2 hours – if you live in the suburb. The doctor is licensed by Russian company and his consultation and medicine will be free.

The period of adaptation.

Coming to your country the lady needs adaptation. Everything has changed for her: temperature, climate, ration, time zone, she enters absolutely new, strange environment and situation. It is a stress for her organism. Please, understand it, help and encourage her, especially difficult for her will be the change of food ration and time zone. This can lead to drowse or vise verse insomnia. Please, treat her requests and wish to have a rest with respect, may be she want to have a sleep or eat something, that you do not have – probably, all this is consequence of the changes.

Money.

I think it is not a secret for you that the salary level of the majority of Russian ladies is still not high. Average monthly salary – is 200-400 €/$. Preparing for your meeting, as a rule, ladies spend all her, her parents’ savings, and sometimes they take credit in a bank, notwithstanding that you pay for her flight, visa, insurance. A lady is not a lady if for a meeting she will not buy new underwear, stockings, something from make-up, shoes, handbag, etc., and of course a present for you, your children, as a result – a round sum.

Please, do not expect that she will behave like a European or American lady. 70% of my Russian clients do not have an opportunity to spend spare money during being your guest neither for food, nor for hygiene, and in case she needs it, it will be nice if you help her. However, the rest 30% – business ladies, having high income, also will expect that you will pay in the restaurant. This is the model of behavior in Russia, as Russian gentlemen – inviting a lady somewhere, always pays for everything. If the couple comes to the restaurant or to any other place, in Russia it is not accepted that a lady pay for herself, if she was invited.

Please, count in advance, whether you have an opportunity to invite your lady and build family with her – as it will cause additional expenses for you. May be, after all the calculations, you will decide that it is better to search for a partner in your country.

It is important for you to understand that if your relations develop and you decide to get married, then after the registration, your wife will not work min for a year, as she will have to learn the language, adapt to the new country, new circumstances, to get to know all the social institutes, and all the financial load will be on your shoulders. You will have to take care of her, to feed, dress your lady, your expenses will grow, are you ready? Under the influence of emotions, feelings, you can slip these details.

Shopping.

It will be nice to go shopping at least once during your lady’s visit. Beforehand, you can discuss the approximate sum, that you are ready to spend for presents, so that your lady can consider it. I recommend you, to clear up already in correspondence your attitude to clothes, appearance – for some people all these things are very important, for some — not. Bring your lady in that trading network, where you dress yourself, she will understand what expects her in future. Sometimes, it turned out, that the level of shops, where a gentleman bought things, was lower then my client could afford, even living alone (it concerns business ladies or those who have high income).

But, in general, Russian ladies do not pay to much attention to brands and are glad and grateful to their gentlemen for care, and small shopping turns out to be a great joyous event for her, if you do it from all your heart, soul and if you are happy with your lady and admire her. Do not forget about small presents for lady’s children (caps, t-shirts, sweets, toys), that are left in Russia. Ladies are upset a lot if gentlemen forget about it and vise verse feel gratitude and happiness if their gentlemen draw attention to the children.

I am absolutely honest saying now, that when ladies go to meet you, every of them asks me what present she should better buy for her gentleman, for his children, for people who live in his house, who are close to him.

Children, living with you

The most difficult situation when a lady comes to meet a gentleman, who lives together with his children. In this case a special delicacy is important from a gentleman. A lady, besides all the changes, above enumerated, has to tune her psychic not only for establishing positive contact with a gentleman, but at one and the same time with his children.

It will be a big mistake from the gentleman’s side to expect from his lady’s first appearance in his house, that she will put the role of the mother and especially to tell about it to his children. It will be better, if you introduce her as a lady that you like a lot, with who, probably, you are going to be together for all your life and that you will be glad and grateful to them, if they become friends with your lady.

Do not forget, children can accept your model of behavior, that is to treat a new person in their house with respect, friendliness – it will be nice.

However, they can express protest, such as hostility, sometimes aggression, etc., as a result of jealousy, fear that their Dad loves them less now. It is understandable, they are children. In this case you will need time and patience for establishing at least good contacts, do not hurry, do not demand from your lady nor from your children immediate love to each other.

When my client goes to the gentleman, who lives with his children, we talk a lot about this situation. She understands all the responsibility and she is ready to establish patiently warm relations with gentleman’s children. Please, help her.

If the result of the meeting is negative…

Unfortunately, though seldom, it happens so, that the correspondence seemed to be tender, emotional, interesting, but when you met personally – a disappointment, from one of the sides or mutual. I always recommend to the both sides to be polite, tactful, and use all the opportunities to achieve compromise and mutual understanding.

(Please, call me. There were cases when I managed to bring the couple on positive relations and the problem turned out to be just a misunderstanding, language barrier, different cultures, etc.). And only, when all the variants were used for saving the relations, you can take decision. But try to stay friends and to leave a good impression about you.

If the reason for parting was a good one, you have an opportunity to choose another candidature for acquaintance and the agency will always give excellent references about you to other ladies. Inviting this or that lady – it is your choice, your wish, but it is also your risk.

I would better talk with you about all this now, instead of your getting in such a situation, when you have feelings, emotions to each other, but the problems cannot be overcome.

Of course, the most important thing – your feelings to each other, but we live in a real world, and our physical body has its own needs and we have the right to satisfy them. Communicate openly with your lady on these topics, go towards each other, search for comfort not only psychic and emotional, but also on the physical level. Only then life together will become happy, full and mutually complementary.

The same recommendations are given to every of my clients, but from the other side. I try to explain to the ladies, that it is necessary to accept and respect things, to which their gentlemen got used and try to integrate to the new circumstances, new culture, and at the same time to save best national Russian traits.

Of course, there are always exceptions to the rules and these recommendations should be considered depending on the certain situation.

My personal opinion is that international marriages contribute to the development of civilization, as it is generally known that such units are wholesome for posterity. Blood mixing strengthen gene pool of mankind. Russian, Slavic blood wonderfully combines with European. Children in such families are born stronger, more healthy and viable. The very marriages contribute to the integration of cultures, lead to understanding of mentalities of various nations and exist for the welfare of the civilization.

One-line Recommendations for a gentleman.

It is accepted in Russia that:

- a gentleman helps his lady carry heavy things;

- a gentleman gives his hand to the lady, helping her go out of a car, descend, ascend, etc.

- a gentleman helps his lady open the door.

It is not accepted in Russia:

- to demonstrate your relations (touch your lady’s knee, hips, etc., in the presence of strange people and in public – it can cause lady’s objection and can be interpreted as disrespect);

- for a lady to pay for herself, if she was invited to a restaurant, theatre and other public places by a gentleman (only if she wishes).

If you have questions, contact us


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